Share EXPERIENCE AND ORGANISATION
1. As far as possible do not have both your sons' or both daughters' weddings at the same time because there will be a difference between the daughters-in-law and the sons-in-law, in the features of the boys and girls, in their neatness of clothing and in their modesty. There are many other factors in which there will be differences and people have the habit of extolling one and criticizing the other. This will unjustly hurt the feeling of the other.
2. Do not trust each and every person nor be in the habit of leaving the house in someones custody. Until you are not confident of a persons integrity, do not place your trust in him. In some areas many women enter the homes, some in the guise of hajees with a piece of the cloth of the Kaaba, some making taweez knots etc., some as fortune tellers and some with amusements. Do not let them enter the house. They have destroyed many a home.
3. Do not leave your safe or box which contains money, jewellery and valuables open and walk away. Either lock it or take it with you.
4. As far as possible do not purchase goods on credit. However if you are compelled to do so, make a note of the price and the date of purchase and pay as soon as possible.
5. Keep a record of the clothing given for washing. Do not rely on your memory.
6. As far as possible keep the house expenses to a minimum. In fact you should save from the amount you are given to use for the house.
7. Do not tell those women who habitually come to the house from elsewhere such things which you do not want others to know of because they carry tales to many houses.
8. Do not cook rice and flour by estimate. Approximate your expenses and measure the ingredients for both meals. Do not pay heed if anyone teases you.
9. When your daughters go outside, do not make them wear jewellery. There is fear of both life and wealth.
10. If a man comes to the door and explains his relationship or friendship or any kind of contact with your husband, father or brother, do not allow him inside i.e. even after making pardah nor give him anything valuable. Send food etc. to him as if he is a stranger. Do not show too much affection and sincerity unless a male from the house recognizes him. Similarly do not use anything which he may give you. Do not be perturbed if he gets offended.
11. If an unknown woman comes and informs you that she was told to come and fetch you, do not accompany her. Do not do any work which a stranger may tell you to do, nor give him anything from the house.
12. Do not let such a tree grow in the house, the fruit of which can injure someone.
13. Wear warm clothing in winter. Most women do not wear sufficient clothing and this inevitably results in colds and flu.
14. Teach the children the parents' names and even the grandfather's name and ask them occasionally in order for them to remember. The benefit of this is that if the child gets lost and is asked about his parents, he can mention the name. In this way someone or the other can return the child to the parents. If the child does not know the name, he will say I am mummy's child or daddy's, making it difficult to trace the actual parents.
15. At a certain place a woman left her child and went away for some work. Meanwhile a cat came and scratched the child so viciously that he died. Two lessons can be learnt from this: Firstly, a child should not be left alone. Secondly, dogs and cats can never be trusted. Some women foolishly make the cats sleep with them. What guarantee do they have of the cat not striking a paw deceivingly at night, or biting or getting hold of the jugular vein.
16. Before using any medicine always show it to the doctor first. Clean it thoroughly before using. Sometimes an unqualified doctor may give you a wrong prescription. Whatever medicine remains over in a container or sachet should be labelled otherwise no one may recognize it. No matter how expensive it was, it will have to be discarded. You may remember wrongly and use it for some other illness, thus causing even more harm.
17. If you do happen to give a loan, do not give too much. Give an amount which, in the event of non-repayment will not overburden you.
18. When intending to undertake something new or major, first take the advice of an understanding, religious and obliging person.
19. Keep your money and valuables safely hidden. Do not mention it to everyone.
20. When writing a letter to someone write the address clearly. If you happen to write to the same person again, do not leave your address out assuming the addressee to have remembered it from your first letter. Allah knows best whether the first letter reached or not. If perchance it did not reach, how much inconvenience the addressee will experience especially if he does not know the address by memory or is illiterate.
21. When travelling by public transport eg. a train, safeguard your ticket very carefully. Do not be negligent and sleep in the train nor tell any fellow passenger your secret or mention anything about your valuables and jewellery. Do not eat anything given to you by strangers eg. betel leaf, sweetmeats etc. Do not wear jewellery when travelling by train. Keep it safely in a box etc. You can wear it on reaching home.
22. Always keep some loose coins in your pocket.
23. Do not interfere with an insane person nor speak to him. If he is not in his senses, he may say or do something that is highly embarrassing to you.
24. Do not place your barefeet anywhere in the dark nor your hand. First switch the light on and then proceed.
25. Do not tell each and every person your secret. By mentioning it to others it is more likely to be exposed.
26. Keep the necessary medicines at home.
27. Always ponder at the consequence of any act before attempting it.
28. Do not purchase crockery and utensils unnecessarily as this destroys ones wealth.
29. If women are sitting in a train and their husbands are sitting in another coach, the women should not alight by observing or hearing the name of the station they intend going to. Some cities have 2 or 3 stations. There is a possibility that the men may alight at another station resulting in both parties separating and causing unnecessary inconvenience. The women should disembark only when the men come to fetch them.
30. Women should also keep the following items with them: a book of masalahs (laws), a pen, paper and a jug for wudu.
31. Do not ask people going on a journey to bring anything for you nor request them to take anything. These requests most often cause inconvenience. If you intend to send a parcel or a letter, it can be posted.
32. Do not partake of anything given to you by a stranger on a journey. Sometimes criminals give poison or intoxicants with the intention of looting your belongings.
33. Whilst hurrying to catch the train, be careful not to sit in a class higher than the one you paid for.
34. Whilst sewing, if a needle gets stuck in the cloth, do not remove it with your mouth. Sometimes it may break or slip and pierce the palate or tongue.
35. Always keep a nailclipper with you.
36. Do not ever put medicine in the eyes.
37. Do not interfere in other peoples affairs nor give any advice. However if you are requested to do so, there is no harm.
38. Do not insist on someone staying over. This can inconvenience a person. What benefit is there in such love, the result of which is animosity?
39. Do not carry something that is too heavy. Women should especially be careful because their joints and blood vessels are much more delicate and sensitive.
40. Do not leave a needle or any sharp object lying around. It can cause an injury.
41. Do not punish a child or student with a thick stick nor kick him.
42. Do not give something heavy or dangerous from above someone. Even food and water should not be given from above someone.
43. Always inform the host if you have already eaten. This will not inconvenience him by unnecessarily preparing food.
44. Do not buy and sell at an inconvenient place.
45. Children of a learning age should be given food which strengthens the brain.
46. As far as possible do not remain alone at home during the night. Allah only knows what calamity can befall a person.
47. Do not allow children to do any risky or dangerous tasks.
48. Do not suddenly pick up bricks, stones etc. that are lying in one place for a long time. Very often scorpions or other harmful creatures breed under them. Always lift them up carefully.
49. When intending to lie on the bed, first dust it as there may be some creature lying on it.
50. Place leaves of the margosa tree or camphor or naphthelene balls between silk and woollen clothing to prevent moths or worms from breeding.
51. When concealing money at home, always tell one or two persons whom you trust.
52. Some people use a lock and place the key somewhere nearby. This is inefficient.
53. Do not light a lamp of oil as it is very harmful. Be careful when switching a lantern off. Do not place your hand on it. Use a fan or cloth to extinguish it.
54. If you want to count money at night, do so silently.
55. Do not leave a burning lamp in an empty house. Similarly do not throw away a burning match. Either extinguish it and then throw it away or trample it with your shoe so that no spark remains.
56. Do not allow children to play with matches, fire and fireworks.
57. When going to toilet with a lamp, place it carefully so that it does not burn the clothing. Many people have sustained burns in this manner. Kerosene oil especially, is very dangerous.
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